pagi yang ehemmmmm

ok, aku bangun tdo dalam keadaan rabak...
mengantuk lagi!
tapi apa boleh buat,
terpaksa bangun...
sebab bunyi bising sangat!
orang buat keje kat luar...
adoiii...nak komplen susah, nak duduk diam lagi susah...
ni la akibatnya duduk lat bangunan yang tak sempat nak siap,
hari2 nampak, dengar orang buat keja dengan bunyi bising bagai...

nak dijadikan cerita,
aku mengantuk sebab tdo lewat...
apa aku buat malam tadi?
well, tak remaja la kalau tdo awal kan?
HAHAHAHA...
tapi last nite was different...
aku keluar ala2 berfoya2
berjimba2 walaupun hanya di melaka yang tak berapa nak happening
apa yang best?
aku jumpa kawan baru!
yesss!!!
ok, diorang senior kat sini
tak pernah nampak, apatah lagi nak kenal...
malam tadi pun sebab kawan desak ikut,
so aku pun macam takde pilihan lain, follow je la...uhuk3!!!
tolong kawan katanya...HUAHUAHUA

so meluncur la kereta kitorang merentasi tempat2 yang aku tak pernah jenguk lagi kat melaka ni
pegi sana sini,
lepak,
karaoke,
nasib baik tak tengok late night movie,
sebab aku takde mood nak tengok wayang...
even if movie twilight breaking dawn!!!
ada aku kesah???

so kesimpulannya,
aku serius seronok semalam...
nak lagi...
bukan nak kata aku jarang keluar malam then balik pagi,
but like i said, last night was different!
bukan senang budak junior nak keluar dgn senior yang happening...
lalalalala~~~

ok la, babai!

p/s aku lapar! malam tadi tak makan...to wan n peng, next time hang out lagi!!! HAHAHA...and wan, kau sebut nama aku salah lagi siap kau!

p/s lagi...ni kalau orang tu tau aku tak makan semalam, mau dia kata "lantak kau la dengan hidup kau!"

kenapa peter pan nak jadi kanak2 untuk selama-lamanya? sekarang aku faham...

boleh tak aku nak jadi macam dulu?
jadi kanak-kanak riang,
dulu aku macam orang takde perasaan,
tak peduli pasal orang,
tak peduli apa orang nak cakap pasal aku...

aku rindu aku yang dulu,
sumpah!
kenapa la manusia membesar?
aku tak suka jadi matang...
aku nak jadi budak kecik,
boleh la manja2 dengan orang...
kalau dah besar semua benda nak fikir,
menyemak otak aku je!
menyampah!!! macam sial, haram!
sape setuju? angkat tangan macam saye...

p/s tu je aku nak cakap...lalalala

"Highway Unicorn (Road To Love)"

We can be strong, we can be strong
Out on this lonely road, on the road to love
We can be strong, we can be strong
Follow that unicorn on the road to love

Run, run with the t-

Run, run with the top down baby, she flies
Run, run with the fury of the saint in her eyes
Run, run hide your cha-cha, baby she goes
With blonde hair and a gun smoking under her toes

Ride, ride, pony, ride, ride
Ride, ride, pony, tonight

We can be strong, we can be strong
Out on this lonely road, on the road to love
We can be strong, we can be strong
Follow that unicorn on the road to love

I'm on the road, I'm on the road to love

I'm on the road, I'm on the road to love

She's just an American riding a dream
And she's got rainbow syrup in her heart that she bleeds
They don't care if your papers or your love is the law
She's a free soul burning roads with the flag in her bra

Ride, ride, pony, ride, ride
Ride, ride, pony, tonight

We can be strong, we can be strong
Out on this lonely road, on the road to love
We can be strong, we can be strong
Follow that unicorn on the road to love

I'm on the road, I'm on the road to love
I'm on the road, I'm on the road to love

Get your hot rods ready to rumble 'cuz we're gonna fall in love tonight
Get your hot rods ready to rumble 'cuz we're gonna drink until we die
Get your hot rods ready to rumble 'cuz we're gonna fall in love tonight
Get your hot rods ready to rumble 'cuz we're gonna drink until we die

*extracted from the song "highway unicorn (road to love) by lady gaga

aku memotivate diri...lagi!

aku penat, aku fed up, aku give up!!!
aku tau aku tak guna satu sen,
aku tau aku bodoh,
aku tau aku tak layak nak dapat apa-apa,
aku sedar diri aku macam mana,
aku tau, tau tau!!!
tapi aku tau aku cuba,
aku tau aku buat yang tebaik,

apa yang aku tak tau,
kenapa orang tak faham?
aku tak mintak orang kesian kat aku,
aku tak mintak korang tolong aku buat macam-macam,
aku tak mintak korang bagi sweet-sweet words nak buat aku feel better,
aku nak satu je,
tolong la faham aku!

aku tau aku mamat emo,
selalu emosi,
terasa sana, terasa sini,
sentap sana, sentap sini,
merajuk sana, merajuk sini...
tapi itu aku...bak kata lady gaga "baby i was born this way"
aku takkan ubah diri aku.
TAKKAN!

bila ada masalah,
orang selalu fikir positif,
tapi aku selalu fikir negatif,
so what?
cara aku,
lantakakula!
if only by thinking negative can give me the drive to move on, i'll do it!
contoh?
kisahnya...

"aku suka kat kau, aku nak kau! aku try tunjuk apa yang aku rasa, tapi kau tak tunjuk respon...KENAPA???!!! U once told me that U like me, U love me, but now what happen to those feelings? now kau buat aku terkapai2...tergantung! aku tak faham, aku blur!!! aku tak fikir benda lain dah selain kau... aku sendiri tak faham kenapa aku jadi macam ni..."
"u know apa aku buat nak tenangkan diri? like i said, i think negatively like "dah la jey, bodo la kau ni"..."jey, kau macam sial je terhegeh2"..."malu la jey, kau tu dah la macam tu"..."ok fine aku tau aku mamat sial"..."jey, ingat kau sape?"

so?
aku salahkan diri aku for whatever happen...
aku tak tau nak salahkan orang,
aku tak tau nak marah,
aku memang macam ni...



p/s ... =(

telling YOU, telling ME...

apa yang aku rasa sekarang?

aku nak lari!

sumpah nak lari...

lari jauh2...

jauh dari masyarakat bising...

jauh dari masyarakat "cantik"

jauh dari masyarakat "hebat"

tapi aku tau, aku tak boleh...

semakin aku lari,

semakin masalah mengejar, 

semakin aku sembunyi,

semakin beban mencari...

aku tau,

aku faham, 

masalah takkan sudah kalau aku lari,

aku lari, 

maknanya aku pengecut, 

maknanya aku penakut,

maknanya aku BODOH!

walau terasa diri tak dihargai,

tak berguna,

itu semua hanyalah khayalan, 

hanyalah mainan perasaan...

aku sedar,

TUHAN memberikan ujian,

ujian yang lebih sukar berbanding orang lain...

ya, aku terima...

namun tak bermakna aku kuat...

aku akui, aku tak pernah menang melawan perasaan...

aku selalu tewas!

tapi apakan daya, 

aku manusia lemah...tak pandai menjaga diri...

senang tergoda, terpengaruh...

itu luahan hatiku...

p/s sorry kalau korang rasa nak muntah baca entry ni...this is what happen if i write in Malay...it become so JIWANG... which is why i don't really like to write in Malay. not to say Malay is not beautiful or i don't like Malay, but it's just that i'm not used to write such "flowery" words...

=) peace!

aku mencarut...

hari ni aku hantar kawan aku g melaka sentral...nak balik dungun. dia sorang je.kesian...takpe fill, ada ms aku g sana k! time tunggu tu ada plak nampak sorang mamat ni...jalan huyung-hayang macam nak langgar orang, mata merah. 1st impression aku, "WHAT THE HELL NGN MAMAT NI? MABUK KE TGH HIGH???" aku ngn member aku dok tengok je gelagat dia...

pastu bas pun sampai, member aku naik, then aku ngn member aku yg lg sorang pun blah...singgah mydin. aku cakap aku tak penah g mydin, so aku try la masuk...1st time weyh! hahaha...
tengah dok belek2 barang tu, member aku bgtau, "him again"...then aku tengok...laaa, mamat tadi lagi!
datang dekat aku plak tuh... mula2 aku buat bodo je tapi pastu tiba2 dia tanya something, pastu tanya lagi dan lagi... WTH???!

yang aku pelik, aku plak tetiba gatal nak tanya psl mata dia yang merah semacam tu... "mata ko kenapa?" then dia jawab, RABUN...rabun??? seriously??? aku tengok macam tgh stim! kahkahkah!!!

ok, apa motif aku story pasal mamat tu? mamat yang member aku anti semacam, tapi aku takde isu ngn dia...
well, aku actually suka berkawan ngn orang bermasalah...
tapi aku jenis yang pilih orang,
aku suka orang yang bermaslah, tp a LONER! yang suka jalan sorang2,
bukan nak kata aku nak jadi macam dia,
bukan juga nak kata aku nak tolong dia kembali ke pangkal jalan (ayat tak bleh blah)
tapi there's something about these people yang buat aku rasa nak approach diorang...
rasa mcm ada connection??? YES!
yes, deep inside aku rasa aku sama je macam diorang,
but luckily aku tak jadi macam diorang,
coz i was taught and raised pretty well by my family...
so whatever problem melanda, aku buat tak tau...
tapi makin aku membesar, a.k.a meningkat dewasa, aku sedar yang aku tak boleh ketepikan masalah aku...
so makin lama aku rasa nak memberontak sangat!
nak try semua benda gila out there! tak kisah la apa...janji aku nak jadi bad ass!
tapi bila teringat family, aku fikir 2 3 kali...last2 aku tak buat pun apa yang aku fikir...
ya, aku berbeza dgn mamat tadi, aku berbeza dgn org lain...sgt tak sama!
mamat tadi takde siapa nak save dia dari jadi macam tu...
benda tu buat aku rasa kesian...kalau boleh aku nak temankan dia.
aku tau banyak benda yang dia nak luahkan,
dia perlukan seseorang,
tapi bila dia perhatikan kat sekeliling,
takde sape2 nak dgr dia mengadu...
aku faham...faham sangat!
that's why aku suka berkawan dgn org macam tu...
bila tengok diorang ni slalu sorang2,
aku teringat diri aku...
rasa macam tak nak ada orang lain yang senasib dgn aku...
at least kalau aku approach diorang, be friends with them,
hopefully they will not feel lonely anymore...
so that they know how to move on...
aku rapat dgn family, tapi tak bermakna rapat dalam segala hal...
aku tak pernah berani nak kongsi masalah dgn family,
apatah lagi dgn orang luar...
sorang2, sunyi sgt...
tu la reason aku tak nak ada manusia jadi macam aku...
tak tau mistake kat mana,
aku langsung tak tau mcm mana nak luahkan masalah kat orang,
maybe sebab masalah aku terlalu private utk aku ceritakan...makan masa...
tapi aku suka dgr masalah orang...
rasa diri berguna sgt bila ada orang perlukan aku walaupun just untuk dgr dia mencarut...
sebab aku rasa diperlukan...
but above all,
aku tau, one day aku takkan diperlukan lagi...
before that time come,
i want to live my life like there's no tomorrow!
i want to enjoy it!
coz i know, when that day finally arrive,
i will be lonely again...
just like before...
that's the fact,
that will never change...
my fate perhaps...

sekian...

p/s aku actually langsung takde mood...sentap tau tak!!!
=(

7 things

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
Now we're standing in the rain
But nothin's ever gonna change until you hear, 
my dear...

The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, 
your games, 
you're insecure
You love me, 
you like him,
You make me laugh, 
you make me cry...

I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
And when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and it's silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
And when you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it
Let's be clear

I'm not coming back 
You're taking 7 steps here

Compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The 7 that I like 

The 7 things I like about you
You hair, 
your eyes, 
your old levi's
And when we kiss, 
I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, 
you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright

YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU!!! 

what will happen...?

i feel like a quitter
but i don't wanna give up!
i really wanna do whatever i can.
all i know is,
i've tried many things, almost everything,
just to make it right,
right what i wanted it to be,
i know nothing will stop me,
nobody will hold me back,
somehow,
i feel like i'm drowning myself from day to day.
whatever i do,
i do it as best as i could,
whatever i feel,
i feel it as deep as i can possibly feel.
no matter how sad it is or how happy and exciting the feeling is,
i could just live the moment.
live it like i could never feel it again...tomorrow!
yes i do feel like i don't have any reason to live my life,
but everyone else does.
i don't know what the hell am i going to do with it.
who will i become?
how i will survive?
and who am i going to share my life with?
i honestly feel lonely...
i know and i realize that i am surrounded by many people,
but somehow i couldn't feel the excitement.
i feel like nobody understands me,
and worse,
they never try to!
all i know is
i've always been the person that people want to leave behind.
nobody cares,
nobody remembers,
and nobody sees.
i've been trying harder and even harder
to change the situation.
i tried to turn the table,
but i just couldn't...

confession

i don't know what to say anymore...sometimes its better if i'm just silent and let things goes by, without me trying to get involved. cause when i got involve, i messed up! i screwed up! i hate it!!!

right now i'm confuse...for a very long time, i've been thinking that loving people that doesn't love me back is a damn useless thing. but U know what? i never learnt the lesson. i keep on doing the same mistake over and over again. seriously, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH ME???!!! i guess i'm just too naive to be thinking that someone would really fall into me...a guy like me! yes, i'm one hell exclusive, unique and the one and only, but does that mean anything? a question i never dare to answer...

who's to be blamed? is it me? or is it the person who's making me fall into them? or is it anyone else?

more confusing when there's somebody giving U mix signals...he/she wants to be your friend and that's that. but at the same time jealous seeing U getting close to someone else. what does that mean?

U, yes U, please answer me???!!! i really need your answer!

do U like me or not? do U love me or not? do U want me to be your boyfriend or not?

i'm really confuse!!!

U've been messing with my mind, and my feelings...

but U know what?

U really changed me...

i once think that i'm JUST gonna be flirting with U, that i'm NOT gonna take U seriously, that i'm JUST having fun with U...

but then, i noticed that what i thought was wrong...

my mind changed! saying that i'm NOT going to be just flirting with U, that i'm GONNA take U seriously, and that i'm NOT gonna just having fun with U.

i love U so much that i don't have the guts to fool around like i always did before...U are like a "strainer" to me. when i try to flirt away, my mind stopped me, telling me that U are going to be mad with what i am doing...it really make me feel guilty.

can't U see? i'm really in to U...

i will be waiting...

but if U still can't accept me,

i hope time will cure me...FAST!