stOry abOut change

I never thought it could be this hard to control my emotions. for all i know, having to feel so many kinds of things is something stupid. but that was before i knew about what it feels like to have all those kind of emotions. i remember when my friend said that i don't have feelings what so ever because i never showed any reactions towards anything...happy, sad, scared etc. but a few months ago, i started to experience some whole new things in my life, EMOTIONS...
My history with feelings hasn't been a lot. i grew up pretty messy since i felt that i was a little neglected and far away from the others including my family. back in school, i was like a little "island" at the small corner of the class. nobody has ever really wanted to talk or hang out with me. it was frustrating but i knew that i had to handle those kinds of things in order to survive. so, i ignored whatever i felt even though i really want to feel them. over time, i got used to it and that was the reason i had never showed my emotions especially in front of other people. i know it sounds crazy, but what i've been doing for the past few years was necessary. well, at least that is what i think. however, everything seems to have changed in the past few months. i let my emotions took over me, i let my guard down, and most of all, i let myself vulnerable. i started to feel love and it feels good. but what hurts the most is missing someone. i never realize it at first, but when it got worse, i started to feel the pain. and what's more painful is when nobody really cares about what i feel. it sucks! it really is. so, i tried to get back to the old me in order to save myself from drowning further, knowing that it's not easy. i can never turn back to who i was before.
It's pretty amazing how a few months could change what you have been working for your whole life. a few months can either change you to be a better person, or destroys you in just a blink of an eye. but many people say that change is a good thing, no matter how positive or negative that change is. it is a process of moving on, elevating ourselves to the next level...~


*all stories adalah rekaan semata-mata dan tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau yang telah mati

heLLO mr. sun

Hello, Mr Sun
Today's the day we change our plans
And end the war against our own selves

Goodbye, Mr Rain
Your time has come, your time has gone
So send your grey skies to someone else

Sun, shine on down
Ease our troubles now
Sun, shine on down

Here's to the girl who holds her heart out for the world
Not worried if her song is out of key
And here's to the boy who loves the girl and tells her so
Couldn't give a damn what other people think

Sun, shine on down
Wring our worries out
Sun, shine on down

Live our lives and take our chances
We're still young enough to dream we will go far
'cause we don't care for all the answers

While we're basking in your golden shangri-la

*extracted from the song "hello mr. sun" by Joe Brooks

the Other side of dOwn

Here I am with all these questions hanging from my ceiling low,
And one day they'll keep telling me I told you so,
Everywhere I turn I see red lights flashing over my head,
In a whirl-wind spinning, somehow it knocked me off my feet
But I know better than to let it get the best of me,
I could give up, I could stay stuck, I could move on...

So I put one foot front of the other,
nothing's gonna break my stride,
I keep climbing, gonna keep fighting until I make it to the other side of down

In the sky, Im standing under all I see is endless rain
I think I spot a silver light hiding in the grey
I might get tossed around, but I'm always bouncing back
I could give up, I could stay stuck, I could move on,

So I put one foot front of the other,
nothing's gonna break my stride,
I keep climbing, gonna keep fighting until I make it to the other side of down

On the other side of down
It keeps calling me
Where I wanna be


So I put one foot front of the other,
nothing's gonna break my stride,
I keep climbing, gonna keep fighting until I make it to the other side of down...~

* extracted from the song "the other side of down" by david archuleta.

kad raya

sori sebab lambat wish...hehehe~
anyway, sambutlah raya ni dengan sederhana...

selamat ari raya aji...

let's talk about...anything!

hollaaa.....ehemmm2....aku nak tanya something kat korang.korang pernah nampak orang cakap sorang-sorang tak?kalau pernah, aku nak tanya lagi satu soalan. bila korang nampak orang tu cakap sorang-sorang, apa reaksi korang dan most importantly, apa yang korang fikir?ok la, korang fikir2kan la ye...hehe...tapi aku nak bagi pandangan aku pasal hal ni.bagi aku la, tengok orang cakap sorang ni tak la pelik sangat.i mean kita tak tau apa yang orang tu cakap, dan apa yang dia tengah fikir. so buat apa kita nak sibuk2 rasa pelik atau nak cakap ape2 pasal orang tu?bagi aku, dia ada hak nak buat apa yang dia nak. maybe ramai or majoriti orang akan fikir bila nampak someone cakap sorang2, orang tu ada problem with their brain...ye ke?kenapa plak orang boleh fikir sampai macam tu?huhu...mungkin aku tak pernah tengok dengan mata sendiri people talk to themselves, so aku tak tau macam mana rasanya bila nampak orang macam tu...nak tau kenapa aku bangkitkan hal ni?actually aku pun sebenarnya buat benda yang sama...aku selalu dok cakap sorang2, tapi aku tak rasa yang aku ada masalah bila buat macam tu.i'm healthy...bila aku cakap sorang2, probably time tu aku tangah berfikir, cuma caranya berbeza.lucu gak la bila fikir balik...hehehe...so bagi sapa2 yang pernah fikir bila nampak je orang cakap sorang2, terus cop dia as mereng...tak semestinya ok...tengok keadaan la.kalau orang tu nampak tak senonoh je, probability yang dia mereng memang tinggi...tapi kalau sebaliknya, faham2 la...hahaha....ok!bye for now....next time aku story lagi...adious!

no idea

seharian aku cari idea nak discuss pasal ape kat blog aku hari ni,tapi satu idea pun aku tak dapat...haha...now tengah tengok tv tapi sambil-sambil tu layan facebook gak.hehe..sorang je tinggal,my sis dah tdow.hmm...biasanya kalau duduk sorang2 ni macam2 boleh kita fikir,tak kira la sengaja or accidently.tu orang cakap la,tapi maybe benda tu betul...tapi ntah la..terpulang la,coz sekarang aku memang tengah blur...haha...

artikel tak bertajuk

hari ni aku nak cakap pasal bahasa rojak.tapi sebelum tu aku nak mintak maaf la sebab aku buat artikel ni semata-mata nak jadi alasan untuk aku pakai bahasa rojak dalam post-post aku yang akan datang...hehee...ok la,mana nak start ekk??honestly aku tak rasa yang bahasa rojak ni salah pun.dulu bukan main kecoh lagi bila kat Malaysia ni ramai orang guna bahasa rojak....bagi aku guna bahasa rojak ni ada baiknya jugak.daripada aku guna bahasa Melayu or bahasa Inggeris yang tunggang terbalik dan serba kekurangan, lagi baik aku campur tapi ikut kesesuaian la..hahaha.oppsss..lupa plak nak bagitau maksud bahasa rojak...actually bahasa rojak ni adalah penggunaan bahasa Melayu dan Inggeris dalam ayat samada dalam penulisan mahupun pertuturan.so tak hairan la isu ni dulu memang hot!maklumla, Malaysia ni negara yang basically bersasaskan melayu.so bahasa pun mestilah bahasa Melayu.hehe...ok la, bagi korang yang nak guna bahasa rojak tu, aku tak kisah asalkan jangan terbawa-bawa dengan amalan tu.kalau dah terpengaruh sangat nanti jadi lain pulak.tulis surat rasmi pun guna bahasa rojak.naya la jawabnya...haha...anyway,macam yang aku cakap tadi, aku buat artikel ni sebab nak jadi alasan untuk guna bahasa rojak dalam artikel-artikel aku.so, literally aku dah mintak kebenaran korang(pembaca) la kan?so kalau ada yang tersinggung dengan apa yang aku tulis, aku mintak maaf awal-awal..after all, aku bukan orang melayu.so bahasa melayu aku tak la superb...hmmm..tu je la kot...ok!have fun~=)