it's 2012 folks!!!

adusss...sumpah tak tau nak buat cter pasal ape...

dah seminggu aku dok tido, makan, online, tengok movie, mengadap laptop dan macam2 benda yang tak berapa nak berfaedah...pendek kata, buku2 aku tertutup rapi la!

nak study mood belum datang,

hantu mane ntah rasuk aku sampai aku langsung takde "nafsu" nak study...

tambah plak bilik aku sekarang dah jadi "port" PES...

asal malam je ade la budak bilik lain datang semata2 nak main benda alah tu.

bengang la jugak kan,

tapi nak buat macam mana,

sape la aku ni nak halau orang sesuka hati, (padahal aku ade hak sebab bilik aku)

sob...sob..sob...

truth is diorang BISIIIINGGG SANGATTTT!

ramai plak tu...badan besar2!

aku nak lalu pun susah tau tak!!!

so ape yang aku buat?

bawak diri lepak n tdo bilik member,

but now member aku tu dah balik,

so aku tak boleh la nak tido kat bilik dia.

terpaksa la aku duduk macam batu kat depan laptop tunggu "makhluk-makhluk" Tuhan ni blah,

sampai keadaan bilik ni tenang,

lagi sedih kalau dirang blah pukul 2-3 pagi...

time tu sah-sah la aku tak larat dah nak buat pape kan,

so tido je la jawabnya...

*sigh

ape la nasib...=.="

next week dah start 1st paper,

subjek yang aku tak berapa nak faham plak tu,

dah tu direct plak 2 paper 2 hari berturut...

grrrrrrr~~~

da la, 

malas nak cter pasal exam nih...

buat pening otak je...

stresss!!!

now aku nak move to my main point of posting this entry...

actually aku nak post esok malam,

but since aku tak sure whether aku ade kat depan laptop ke tak,

so aku ambik keputusan buat malam ni.

maklumla, mane tau malam esok aku keluar berjimba2 sambut NEW YEAR's EVE...

sah2 la aku takkan ade depan laptop kan...

takut expiry date blog aku sampai...

HAHAHA...

so what did i want to talk about?

well, basically 2011 was not that bad for me...

from the day i entered this year,

i've been wishing, praying, hoping, trying, putting efforts and so on just to get what i want!

i win some and i lose some...that's the way it should be.

but above all,

i've experienced many new things...bitter or sweet!

i don't have to tell it here,

i don't think it's appropriate.

though this blog has been like my diary, 

there are some things that i couldn't share.

what i can conclude is,

2011 is great!

well, i lied!

nobody would admit that they are having a good year...believe me!

but what i can say is that we all experienced ups and downs throughout the whole year.

so, considering today is the last day of the year,

i would like to wish the world a very happy birthday!

remember that the world is getting older from day to day,

if you know what i mean...

for those who doesn't care,

live the new year with joy!

have party, light up the fireworks, dance till dawn!

forget everything!

but bare in mind that tomorrow you will realize that you've spent your time with rubbish!

anyway, i only would like to wish a very happy new year to all of you!

may 2012 brings you joy, health, and prosperity...

everyone, put both your hands together, 

hail them up, 

close your eyes,

and say your prayers,

  

may GOD hears you...

frustration is the reason why!

time to turn to my blog...

i don't know what's happening to me lately,
i've been ignoring many things around me,
no to this,
no to that,
but when it comes to eating,
i'm gonna be the first to show interest...
yeah, i've been extremely eating a lot lately,
i don't know why...
to be somebody as skinny as me,
it's not easy to see us eat that much,
but i am really an exception...
am i an alien?
who knows...

yesterday i was mad,
today i was being furious!
and this is for U!
i was texting U today,
as pals!
what i wanna say is,
it's not easy for me to text U,
it's not easy to use those words,
it's not easy to reply your text...
let alone hanging around with U...
that's far far away from happening...
i swear!


that thing up there is one of the reasons why i was being mad, furious, and raging recently...
not to mention many other things that i...
hate to see,
hate to feel,
hate to have!
i don't care if nobody understands me,
i owns my heart, my brain, and my soul!
whatever i feel and think is my business...
screw what people think or say!
i'm done thinking about them and less prioritizing myself...

like i said,
ignorance is all i was doing lately,
do i care about people's feelings?
NO!
and most of all,
do i care about my feelings?
sadly NO!
i've been acting crazy,
i've been laughing all the way,
i've been pretending like i don't give a damn about things that i actually care much!
seriously i just wanna forget those things...
things that gave me so much pain and misery.
i wanna end it all...
i don't wanna see those people ever again.
how i wish i could transfer to another place,
place that i can start fresh!

right now i just wanna get home,
spend my time with family, and friends back in my hometown,
maybe they can help me,
maybe they can heal me,
maybe they can clear my head...

wait for me mukah,
wait for me my beloved village,
wait for me my friends,
wait for me guys!
i'll be home soon..

if GOD wills it...

fullstop...!

hari ini is today?

aku nak story pasal apa yang aku buat hari ni...well, highlight je la...dah macam diari plak blog ni aku buat,

hehehe...so what?sukati aku la kan!so let us turn back, benda yang aku nak story td...hari ni sumpah aku sakit hati!dari pagi sampai sekarang...kalau setakat sakit hati yang so so tu ok lagi, kutuk2 orang, pastu gelak, semata-mata nak lupakan sakit hati rasa marah, aku pun nak sakit hati hari2 kalau mcm tu...

today was different!aku rasa aku tak pernah buat benda yang aku buat tadi, rasa nak meletup sangat!so aku ledakkan dengan "bom" ala2 atom, aku lepaskan tapi ada had...aku lepaskan macam mana? tu aku tak payah nak story morykan, or should i?ok la...hari ni aku banyak tinggikan suara, tak tau dari mana aku dapat suara tu, padahal suara aku mana kuat! hari ni macam ada aura extra yang buat aku nak sangat meletup!!! aku jerit sana sini, aku peduli hape dengan orang? lantak aku la!!!suara aku...ehhh...lupa plak aku sakit hati pasal ape kan. actually hari ni aku ngn budak2 kelas aku organize satu event. ceramah je...BORING NOK!!! nasib baik la kitorang jemput lecturer yang ajar kitorang sendiri. dapat jugak credit kat situ kan...HEHE...

tetttt...menyimpang jauh plak...so tadi aku nak cakap ape?owhhhh, aku sakit hati pasal ape? aku tak sure nak story or tak, tapi if aku adalah korang, rasanya aku dah boleh agak. well, kalau korang teka apa yang aku teka, that means korang mesti tau mcm mana rasanya kan? hmmm...manusia2...nak buat macam mana. dah benci memang benci. sumpah aku struggle nak act like everything is ok today...gelak2 jugak dgn member walaupun susah nak even nak senyum. tapi aku boleh je pura2 kan...hipokrit! well, aku dah biasa buat macam tu...luckily from time to time aku dah makin pandai nak handle...learn from experience la bhai! takkan hidup dah berpuluh tahun tak belajar ape2...bengap sangat ke sampai jadi macam tu?HAHAHA

aku tengah ngantuk gler ni...mata melekat je rasanya. lepas habis buat entry ni kompom terbongkang tdo! grrrrr! but then hari ni ade jugak moment2 yang buat aku rasa terbang...pagi2 dah ada orang senyum kat aku. makhluk Tuhan yang sekor ni aku rapat kat FB je. memang study kat tempat sama, tapi kalau aku susah sikit nak tegur, ramah2 bagai bila jumpa...so hari ni 1st time la jugak walaupun tak borak. 

then time aku nak pegi kelas tgh hari tadi ade lagi org senyum kat aku...senyum memang la tak salah kan, tapi sukati aku la nak feel excited pun...hak aku!HAHAHA...tapi makhluk Tuhan yang ni plak aku tak kenal. member aku yang jalan sekali pun pelik. siap kata "nape dia senyum kat kau weyh?" aku jawab, biar la dia...aku kan cute! (bapak perasan sial). time makan tadi sempat jugak cuci mata...BEST! tapi paling sial masa pegi kelas malam(baru kejap tadi). sebab? malas nak story la...buat sakit hati je...

berapa punya panjang daa aku karang...buat macam ni masa final kan ke bagos! mencarut2 kadang2 ada markah...

ok la...dah malas nak perah otak ni...penat!!! tadi kena buli dengan cikgu bomba. kena push up sampai 15 kali semata2 sebab ujian tali! orang lain rilek je salah, tapi tak kena hukum pun...nasib laaa...tapi takpe, anggap je diorang sayang aku lebih...

p/s nothing to say...

the truth is...

the truth is...
i hate being ignored!
when i talk,
i want people to hear to what i say...

the truth is...
i'm longing for attention!
though i act like i'm ignoring people's advises,
doesn't mean i don't want to them...

the truth is...
hate to hate,
i'm not perfect,
but i have opinions on my own,
perceptions about people,
i don't care if people hate me,
because when people talk about me,
that means i'm well known,
not famous,
no matter what trash they wanna talk about me...

the truth is...
i don't wanna be bad,
i am a good boy,
i've always been,
what changed me?
i just don't know...

the truth is...
i wanna be positive,
but the thing is,
when i'm being positive,
things turns negative,
all i get is sorrow...

the truth is...
i always lie,
lie to myself,
lie to my family,
lie to my friends,
lie to everyone around me,
i'm a hypocrite,
and i know it...

the truth is...
i'm lying to you guys,
i'm non of the above!
i'm just wasting my time,
trying to fill my "free" time,
by writing something,
for me to read,
for you to read,
and for everyone to read...

i'm busy now,
till next time!
=)

p/s seek the truth about you and you'll be surprise!

kenapa oh kenapa...?

serius aku takde masa nak main2 sekarang!
aku curi masa nak update blog ni kejap,
so post ni takkan panjang,
aku just nak story something...
imagine this scene...
korang tengah seriously stresss!!!
korang nak someone to help u,
bukan nak tolong buat pape,
just cakap something to boost ur spirit up,
sweet2 words la contohnya kan...
so u turn to ur friends,
yela 4 sure la kan...
but what happen is,
diorang bagi alasan,
ada hal lain bagai,
obvious macam taknak tolong korang,
apa korang rasa?
kalau pasal action memang tak boleh buat ape la kan,
jadi mcm tu je la,
takde hak nak protes perbuatan orang,
sabar je la...

then bayangkanlah time tu korang tengah cakap dengan kawan korang tu kat tepi jalan,
lepas kawan tu bagi excuse without saying sorry dia tak dapat nak tolong,
dia terus blahhhh!
so tinggal la korang kat tepi jalan tu,
sorang2,
macam tiang,
macam orang bodoh!
bengang tak???
aku honestly bengang dowh!
tapi like i said,
takde yang boleh dibuat kalau it happens...

ok la,
aku nak share je benda ni...
next step bergantung kat korang k...
kalau ada yang terasa tu,
harap2 la korang jadi lebih sensitif,
bukan selalu kita dapat tolong kawan dengan pertolongan yang mudah macam tu,
only with words man!
susah ke?
tak kan?

faham2 la ye...
lastly, "mata ke atas, tangan ke dada"

special entry to my dear ****

dear ****,
i just wish i am in heaven right now,
can u do that for me?
i know it's a little absurd,
and i know u couldn't make it true,
it's okay...=)
i just want u to always be by my side,
u are my loyal friend,
a day without u is not a complete day for me,
a day with no talking with u is not a normal day,
over the past couple of years,
u have been my very loyal listener,
whenever i needed someone to talk to,
i'll always turn to u,
cause i know nobody will listen as good as u do,
nobody will agree with me as much as u do,
nobody will understand me the way u always do.

for all i know,
u have been my one and only companion ever since i met u...
thanks a lot my dear,
i love u soooooooo much!!!
nothing and nobody can ever replace u,
u are one of a kind,
the one that make me feel so alive,
the one that i feel so much better whenever i talk to,
the one that i will always care, pamper, and never forget!

love you my dear blogKu.com
=)))

forgive me

can U forgive me again?
i don't know what i said,
but i didn't mean to hurt U...

i heard the words come out,
i felt that i would die,
it hurt so much to hurt U...

then U look at me,
U're not shouting anymore,
U're silently broken...

i'd give anything now,
to kill those words for U...

each time i say something i regret i cry,
i don't want to lose U,
but somehow i know that U will never leave me...

so stay with me,
U look in my eyes and i'm screaming inside that i'm sorry...

can U forgive me again?
U're my one true friend,
and i never meant to hurt U...

speechless...

it's time for us to part,
it's best for us to part,
but i love you,
take care of yourself,
i'll miss you...
and no more tears to cry,
i'm out of good-byes...

it's time for us to part,
although it breaks my heart,
cause i love you...

fix you...

when you try your best but you don't succeed,
when you get what you want, but not what you need,
when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep,
stuck in reverse...

and the tears come streaming down your face,
when you lost something you can't replace,
when you love someone, but it goes to waste,
could it be worse?

lights will guide you home,
and ignites your bones,
and i will try to fix you...

and high up above or down below,
when you're too in love to let it go,
but if you never try you'll never know,
just what you're worth...

i promise you i will learn from my mistakes...
and i will try to fix you...!

i learnt my lesson...really???

well look at the above FB status,

then look at the highlighted comment,

i didn't mean to make a joke here,

i didn't mean to be a model,

neither did i want joel(the person who comments) feel shame...

all i wanna say is i thank him for saying what he said,

thanx bro!

i've been so down lately,

had to make myself busy,

had to do crazy things,

just to get my mind off all those stuffs!

and went home tired,

thinking about nothing but sleep...

i've always been a mess,

and i just made myself a bigger mess!

i really feel like i've ruined myself...

but i have my reason(s) for doing all that.

reason(s) that only i know...

and i wanna say sorry,

i've been such a fuss,

i've been such a buzz,

i've been such a pest,

all because i was overwhelmed,

fear that i'm gonna be forgotten,

forgotten as always...

but i guess i was meant to be that person and i will always be...

sorry!!!

but i know i'm gonna be fine,

i survived all these while,

been in the same situation over and over again,

and i did get over it every single time...

don't u worry my dear...=)

p/s BTW, what joel meant by "jual ikan" is being selfish...=)

it's not unusual

it's not unusual to be loved by anyone,
it's not unusual to have fun with anyone,
but when i see you hanging about with anyone,
it's not unusual to see me cry...
i wanna die!
it's not unusual to go out at anytime,
but when i see you out and about,
it's such a crime...
if you should ever want to be loved by anyone,
it's not unusual,
it happens everyday no matter what you say,
you find it happens all the time...
love will never do what you want it to do,
why can't this crazy love be mine?
it's not unusual to be mad with anyone,

it's not unusual to be sad with anyone,

but if i ever find that you've changed at anytime,

it's not unusual to find out that i'm in love with you...

perihal membebel

what??? it's DECEMBER already?
how fast did the time flies,
means by the end of this month, we will be having a very new year!
WELCOME 2012!!!
actually i wanted to post something last night (12.00 a.m)
but i was so busy with something, in fact super busy!
plus i didn't  know what to right about...

so what about now?
do i have any idea?
my answer is...
NOOOOOOOO!!!
GOSH i'm bored!
really bored!!!
super bored!!!
i've got class at 6.30p.m today,
and now i'm just waiting and waiting and waiting...

ok, let's fine some issue to talk about...
|||||||||||||||SCANNING|||||||||||||||||||||
got it!
hari ni aku nak cakap pasal MEMBEBEL!!!
sape suka membebel angkat tangan!
aku tak suka membebel,
tapi aku suka dengar orang membebel...
tak tau kenapa...
tiap kali orang membebel,
aku rasa seronok...
seronok???
ok fine,
aku tak suka cakap macam ni sebab rasa nak muntah,
aku rasa "disayangi" (bluerrrkkk)
HAHAHAHA...

korang mesti pernah kena bebel kan?
tak kisah la sape yang membebel tu,
mak ke, ayah ke, kakak ke, abang ke...BF ke, GF ke...hehehe
masa korang kena bebel apa korang rasa?
best tak?
suka tak?
marah tak?
sedih tak?

tapi yang aku tau,
mendengar orang membebel membuat aku sentiasa senyum,
sweet kan aku?
masalahnya senyuman aku selalunya orang akan tafsirkan sebagai "tak ambik serius apa orang cakap"
betul ke aku tak serius???
honestly YES!!!
no offence la k...
like i said, aku suka dengar orang membebel,
so aku nikmati la moment2 yang ala2 "sweet" tu...
korang mesti ada moment2 pelik yang korang tak sepatutnya nikmati dgn senyuman, tapi korang senyum jugak kan???
everyone does...

bagi aku,
bebelan itu bagus,
bila orang bebel kat aku,
bukan aku tak dengar,
tapi aku tak ambik perhatian,
tak ambik perhatian tak bermaksud aku tak ambik input,
kadang2 benda yang kita tak dengar dan tak nak ingat tu yang melekat kat dalam otak...
aku dah experience sendiri...
ternyata betul...
banyak benda yang kita nak lupakan, but kita still ingat.

pelik kan aku?
EHEHEEE...
say whatever u want,
but i will never change myself,
there are things that i am flexible and i'm open to change it anytime,
but i've been considerable enough...
i need to have my own attitude...
after all,
at the end of the day,
it's always gonna be about me, me and me alone...
not fucking anyone else!
sekian terima kasih...

yesss!!! my first entry of the month! nasib baik la ada masa sket nak buat...kan3???



p/s aku masih fikir hal tadi...bengang tol la! hey U, kau ingat kau sape nak komen kerja aku?! blah laaa!!!